This week started off a bit emotional.
It was my first week back to college and we got a task to do and it was very emotional for me to do, but I did it and it was good to and now I can move on from that and learn from it as well as forgive myself for it.
It has also been a busy week this week with lockdown easing and been able to see friends and family, so have been to see who I can when I can, but love been busy and keeping myself occupied as it stops my Brain from going into over drive.
Monday was college day, Tuesday went going to go and see one of my good friends and godson, Wednesday ended up in bed all day with a major headache and could not move my head off the pillow without feel or going to be sick, Thursday was clean up and get any washing done, also my son had a job interview on the morning, my son wanted to baked and cook all week so let him, Friday was getting everything together as having a weekend camping.
Whilst I was cleaning up on the Thursday I did a house cleanse, and got rid of clothes I do not wear or use, got rid of books, paper, and anything else that I no longer had use for and I felt amazing after it, there is still a lot to go through but my god I have space and looks so much better, but there is also another reason to the madness of cleaning and that is the more I get rid of now the less I have to later when I go travelling with my partner and see the world because lets face it, I can get everything sorted while I am grounded (doing college and uni) and then when I am fully qualified I am hoping to take it on the road with me and also learn while in different countries of methods and techniques.
The weekend brought lots of laughter and was good to get out and meet friends again that we have only been able to speak to over text or phone, campfires and social distancing around them everyone trying to speak over others around so they can be heard when answering questions or asking question, through the day slowly going round and saying morning to everyone as a new starts and been able to actually have a proper talk to everyone everyone sharing their dealing with lockdown and what changes they have made to their vans/motorhomes/trucks.
I still have a lot of internal work to do and I know that I am going to still have my days were I do not want to do anything or speak to anyone but that is just how I process what has been happening (that day or week or moth), but the people I have around me are understanding of that because I have talked to them about how I am feeling and my process and are accepting of that and this makes me stronger again. I pushed so many people out of my life that I forgot that I needed these people more than I thought I did, and I am having the best relationships with friends family and my partner.
I am excited about my future again, and things I have planned as well what I have got planned with my partner, and I know that I am going to have the best life from here on out because I am determined to not let this take over me again and I will fight everyday to keep myself in this place I have fought so hard to get to, and I have got the mindset now where if you want to be in my life you need to make as much effort as I am giving because if you do not then I will not waste my time any longer.
I am also looking at doing some volunteering work in hope of gaining some experience and help me with future prospects of a getting a job. So will keep everyone posted on how that goes.
So what started off to be an emotional week has turned out to be one of the best weeks yet and looking forward to many more with them all.