From bad to worse to amazing, that is how I can explain the last 2 weeks.
Do not get me wrong the week started off to a great start and I could of not been happier with myself or anyone around me, but then it started going downwards, my daughter moved her stuff out which did put me on a downer but not to the extreme I have been on, and was able to bounce back from it, but when your partner sees you as one thing when you are trying to rebuild yourself is a hard nut to crack.
It got to the point were we argued because he said I had lied to him, when in a actual fact he did not let me finish before jumping down my throat about it, and this lead to me saying that I had, had enough I was sick of going in circles, and he should just get his stuff and go.
He turned up and after he had finished work and gone to his mums, and we sat in silence for about 10 minutes ish before I started to speak, and i was strong and I was ready for him to walk out the door and for him to never come back and get on with my life, because I know the struggle I have gone through and I wasn’t letting him drag me backwards, until I saw his stuff on the bed and suitcases and I just walked back down stairs and cracked and broke down into floods of tears.
he came down a few moments later and asked how we was to move on from this, to which I said stop seeing me as a lier, and meet me on all levels, as I have stuck by him through everything, taken interested in all his hobbies and interests, and have been patient with him and even though some of the things he has said or done, I have kept my mouth shut, and let him get on with it.
As the evening went on we talked and I think we have sorted through everything, but I think only time will tell on that, but I have told him that I am a strong, funny, sarcastic, mouth works before brain kicks in and that I suffer with depression and anxiety and that is who I am, it is up to him now whether to accept it or not but I am been who I want to be and not someones expectations of me.
Well the weekend went really well after that, and managed to get a lot of walking and hiking done, as well as playing with RC Crawling which I secretly love, but it expensive, and meet up with a few people who are into also and filmed some of the scenes for my partners YouTube channel (Aron’s RC Adventures), but would mostly go and explore the woodlands around us, and to top that day of I found a crochet Octopus from random acts of crochet kinds (who are on Facebook) and loved finally meeting up with friends that we haven’t seen for a while, and to see our god son on his birthday, and we could not resist getting him a remote controlled car.
So the beginning of April was a bad start to the month but hoping that it will end on a high, and to those that read this, I hope you find the new and possible improved me good, because this is who I am now, bad and good, and if you don’t it won’t get to me like it used to because all that matters is my opinion of myself.
hope everyone has had a good easter weekend and will catch up with you all again soon, love and peace x