Hating myself.

I hate who I have become, I hate the feelings I have.

I am drowning in my thoughts, my skin is crawling with the demons wanting to take me, the fight is getting harder and harder to deal with, I do not know how to get out, I do not know how to stop all this pain I feel.

I am lost with nowhere to turn or run to for refuge I have no ending insight maybe if I fall alseep I will not wake and the pain will go away, maybe if I sleep the demons will leave.

At one point I was so sure what I wanted and where I wanted to be, now I do not even know if that is the case anymore, now I am not sure if this is the life I want, my head will not stop spinning, my skin crawling with the demons that want to take me, and I am at the point I will let them.

No one seems to understand, how I am feeling, noone seems to want to care and if they do I can not feel or see it because of how I am, I just can not deal with anything, I can not make decisions and keep to them, I can not go anywhere with feeling I am been watched or something is going to get me.

Every move I make seems to be judged or under the microscope, everyone is wanting to have there bit, everyone making me feel like I am theirs to do as they will, and I let them because it is easier that way.

I no longer have a voice, I no longer want to feel, I longer want to hurt myself or anyone else.

2 thoughts on “Hating myself.

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