As I sit here and read other peoples blogs and posts, I realise that I am not on my own suffering.
I have sat and read many blogs over the weeks, posts on social media, and news bulletins about mental health and the wide range that it covers. All I can say is WOW and OMG!
I have read on what has triggered it for them, how they have dealt with it what they did and still do to over come it, but also on how to keep it in check (for them).
Now I have tried many things over the years and have stuck at them for some time to give them a chance, but nothing has really stuck. I read somewhere about just sitting outside with nature not mindfulness or meditating as such but just paying attention to your body and mind, listening to what it is telling you.
Now I tried this today and I did feel somewhat more focused but it was only my first day today, I was sat there for about 2-3 hours ish, just listening to what my body was telling me, listening to nothing but the sound of my heart beating, and notice how it would speed up when I thought about certain things and slow down when I calm.
It has to of been the first time I have actually paid attention to my body and to be honest I felt disappointed and yet relieved at the same time, disappointed of how much I have let it consume me so much and relieved to actually feel it for myself.
While I was sat there (ended up laying down after a while because my back was hurting so much), it got me thinking about everything, from the first memeory I remember, to all the sad and happy memories, to all the other ones inbetween, and I thought to myself I have had a rubbish but yet happy life so far, how can I make it fantastic for my future?
I will certainly keep doing this method that I found to see if it helps me, but I think I might go for a short walk to start with first and then everything else after. Will keep you all posted on the progress.