When you have mental health issues, life becomes harder to deal with and you question everything, your job, your relationship, your friendships, every day dealings.
With me I do this everyday, I struggle to find what it is I really want and can change my mind so many times, that it can be a whirl wind for those around me. I am trying to find my niche, I think that is what it is called.
It is hard to find this when you do not not even know what it is you are looking for! This can be very fustrating and give me a low mood. As I watch the world go by and the people in it and see how happy they are when they find there something , I think how did you find it? How did you find what you wanted when you did not even know or was not looking?
When I was younger I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, then I became a mum before I even had chance to figure it out, but I loved every moment of beening a mum, and love every moment since, but now they have grown up and become independent young adults and are now exploring their own paths, I am stood here thinking what do I do now? Where do I go from here?
As I watch the world go by, I see so much sadness and hurt but also see the happy and wonderful things that can happen. When someone I know is feeling a certain way I can see it, I do not know how or why I do but I do.
Trying to deal with work, relationships, family and my own personal battle is hard to deal with, trying to find that balance that is happy for everyone can be exhausting to say the least. Somethings are rewarding and others not so much. When I do find a balance something happens and tips the scales and feel like the whole process has to start again.
Finding that balance takes a lot of energy and a lot of time, but when the results are unexplainable it is worth it, it is just a matter of patience and postivity, some might not find this straight away, hell I am still trying, so it is a long slow process but one day I will get there.