I find it hard to reach out to others when I need it the most, I can not seem to express myself without feeling deflatted by it, I do try to talk to my loved ones about what I am going through but tend to clam up and can not quite express my thought and feelings.
I wake up everyday thinking what I am going to do today? and that is as far as I get. My feelings are all over the place and I do not know if I should trust what my gut is saying to me. In my last post I said about trying to following them gut feelings and see where they take me, but I am also scared to.
What if they lead me astray? What if the path I choose is the wrong path? Will it work out, if it is the right path? I have tried to talk to professionals and I have tried a varitey of methods to help me get through my mental state, but not finding what is helping me is proving to be hard and confusing for me.
I have thought about trsiling my own way of things but still unsure how to go about doing it, I have looked at what I can do, what makes me the happiest, and so farall I have got is I want to help people who feel, think, going through the same or something simuilar to me as I know there are plenty of people out there that are still looking for that something to help them through what could be the most difficlt time of their lives.
I have helped so many people over the years and there has been nothing more satisfying as watching them progress and finding who there are, this is when I am at my best and now I am trying to path the path to make that become a reality.
The path I want to go down has a lot of worries with it, what if I am not good enough? Would people want to come to me to help with their journey? Would I be able to get myself out there? Would I be strong enough at the moment to help? Will helping others also help me at the same time?
Life throws so may things at us that sometimes we do not know where to turn to ask, and often try to deal with it ourselves, and sometimes that can work and other times it can make a smaller problem become bigger because we do not know where to turn and if our friends and family will be willing to help?