Every day I get up and have to do what is required of me, the regular mundane everyday trash that is called life.
I have to get up, feed myself, wash myself, brush my teeth, go to work, come home, eat, bath, sleep and then repeat.
I am now at a stage in my life where I am trying to figure out what to do next. Do I keep going in this repetitive cycle or do I just break free and live my life how I really want and just think of everything else after?
I suppose there are good points to the repetitive stuff because you have that sense of security, and knowing that you have a good job and a roof over your head, but then there is the thought of been free from all that and live freely and just travel without having to worry about the financial side of a house and bills because you are on the road or backpacking and you can enjoy the things that mother nature has to offer.
I am not saying it is for everyone, each individual has there own preference that they want out of life, some want the school, college, uni, good job, house, marriage, kids and good holidays, others might prefer, school and then a job and then see where life takes them. Each and every one of us is different and we all have our own path we want to walk on.
But for me, I have done school, college, good job, marriage kids etc etc, but never really felt I was were I needed to be or where I should be, and I have always had this niggling feeling, I have always have had “itchy feet” never been happy in one place but never really done anything about it because I had kids and later the husband and then more kids and then everything crashed.
I hit rock bottom, My thoughts were either blank or overwhelming, and could not get a handle on my life, or my thoughts or what I was supposed to be doing with my life. For so long I had tried to be strong for everyone around me that I had no one to be strong for me, or for me to go to when I needed someone (now I know some who will be reading this will be saying or thinking, well I was there and still am why didn’t you come to me?), but, in all fairness I didn’t because when you see someone else struggle you do not want to burden them with your problems and and make them feel worse because they can not be there on a level I needed them to be.
This part I am going to do over a few blogs as there is too much for me to explain in just one.