Freezing and forgetting

I have been getting this alot lately, when I am talking I will just freeze and forget what I was talking about or saying and have to be reminded of the conversation but this has got 2 meanings behind it and I will explain fully as you continue to read.

The first been the anxiety part of it, as I will talk about something and then my anxiety will kick in because I will get uncomfortable about talking for no reason and then I get my words muddled up and lose the train of thought or conversation.

I know this can be fustrating not just for me but for the person I am talking to because they would be listening egaerly and then I would stop and you can see the person looking at you waiting and that makes it worse because I feel like they are waiting for some grand finish, that I can not give them so then I kick myself mentality for not been able to finish. So when I do get my train of thought back the moment has gone and the coversation isn’t so good as it should of been, the first time, because they had already heard the first part and most properly don’t want to hear it again.

The second is because I have brain fog with having menopause, yes I know I am young, and I have been going through it for the last 10 years and it has gotten worse as time as gone on.

I constantly forget things if I dont write them down, or I get dates muddled up and end up turning up on the wrong day (which has happened twice with hospital appointments) and I then feel like a complete idiot and walk out feeling embarrassed.

But combine the 2 of these and there is no hope what so ever, my partner and children have to keep reminding me of things and I know this can fustrating for them as I am a grown women who should have it together and not be treated like a child who is just starting to learn!!

But having said that I can sometimes surprise them and myself when I do remember and that makes me feel amazing and feeling proud.

Having said all this I nearly forgot to do this blog (eye roll at myself), but I have had an amazing couple of days and have felt so much support recently that it has helped me with my confience to speak out and doing this blog is also helping me in more ways than I expected.

Anyway I will leave that there for now and will come back to this subject at a later date as well as some of the others I have posted because I am only doing I brief outline for now. If you have any input please comment on here or on facebook on any of the blogs.

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