I don’t know about you but for me, this has been a tough year for not just me for everyone who suffers with mental health.
Been a sufferer I have found it hard to keep my mental state in check because of the pandemic and it has made my anxitey go through the roof (so to speak). And I have sunken into depression further, which has made everyone around me suffer too.
I got so bad I had to seek help from professionals and with working for a company I do and them been in partnership with the retail trust, and mind. The help from work colleagues too, because if it wasnt for them to give me that information to access them., i don not think I would be doing what I am doing now.
It did not help that my son was the one to break me. When you love your children unconditionally, you never expect them to treat you with that way. With disrespect, betrayal, attitude, thinking that they can control you, tell you how to live your life, never coming to you when, they need you the most, or you needing them.
Then when trouble comes knocking on the door and they are in trouble with the police, my world turned upside down (will not go into to much detail about this), luckyly my partner was home that day and was there supporting me on every level, and keeping me up right.(Thank you for that)
Anyway, I rang my work and told them I wouldnt be in for the week. A week had past and I still wasn’t right so I rang the doctors and got put on the sick for 5 months and put back on tablets (again). Didn’t help that i could not see a doctor and had to do everything over the phone!! This does not help because they can not see how much you are falling apart, they can only go on what you are saying to them over the phone.
In these 5 months I had to build myself back up agin, but as I was doing so I didn’t really tell anyone what I was thinking or letting them into my life, as my partner was at work and didnt want to get invovled with what was going on with my son, my daughter was more bothered by how the situation would affect her new relationship, and what it would mean for her in the profession she wanted to go in, so I was left to deal with my son on my own.
Yes I could talk to my partner about what was going on and he did ask but mentally I couldn’t because I had it in my head that he didn’t want to get involved period!! That ment in every aspect of what was going on in my life, as for my kids, well despite all the hurt I felt, I was still by my sons side helping get through this crazy mess he had created, only to still get atitude from him. To be left if the dark and not know what is going to happen and the pandemic in full swing and not been able to have that face to face contact with them and to be kept in formed about everything was alot harder than I thought it could of been.
Even through all this chaos that is going on around me, and I am still trying to sort through the chaos mentally, I am fighting everyday for that brighter, better, funny life I might be able to have again. Until that day I will try to help myself and also others on there journey, because helping others helps me to understand all aspects of depression and anxiety, and to hopefully be able to help others process forward in their journey, as well as mine.
The pandemic has caused a lot of problems, rather than solve them, which hasnt help anyone or anything other than, make people question and asks queastions, which is all good but when the right people get together to help that is where the true friendship and loyalities lie, to stand together united as one instead of against through these uncertain times makes the hard times better.
One thing this pandemic has taught me, is that there is no one is their to help you unless you are willing to except the help, and willing to reach out for that help, even if you can not see a professional you can speak to them in other ways, like over the phone, through e-mail, video call, if you can, you can see a professional face to face as long as guidelines are meet. I know there is a lot of support there you just have to look and ask, it will be given and offered with open arms.